Beans On Toast

Tonight we had a salad, hamburgers and baked beans. Typically, I served my beans on hot buttered toast, English style, a meal or side also adored by Australians and New Zealanders. I learned about this delectable combination in June,1956 during my first trip to England, on Army leave. While I realize that the authentic dish includes Heinz beans in tomato sauce, I prefer Boston style beans, our my family’s Saturday night dinner for many years.

Now let us review a strange bean incident during our trip to Aukland, New Zealand the beginning of a 42 day cruise to Thailand. We arrived on a late afternoon and stayed at the America’s Cup Sailing Centre. We toured the area and discovered that NZ was an expensive place to visit. The cheapest dinner in a local restaurant was a plate of spaghetti for US $29. Next, we stopped by a wine store and found one of my favorite NZ wines. I placed it on the counter and the cashier said  “That will be $35 American.”  I said,  “This wine is produced 50 miles from here and I purchase it in the US, thousands of miles away, for $9, you must be mistaken.”  His response was “Welcome to New Zealand.”   Mine was to leave the wine on the counter and walk away.

The next morning, while dressing, we watched a TV show that featured 3-4 minute vignettes of local news. One of the stories was a celebration held by the Aukland women’s basketball team that had just won a championship game. It was held in the team captain’s cramped apartment where the team mates were preparing a “very special” dinner, for this important occasion, which consisted of baked beans on toast. The announcer gave complete details as to the tall center making toast in the oven and the hostess preparing the canned baked beans by heating them in a pan, and serving them at a crowded dining table, all of which was recorded in detail by the video camera, 

At first I thought that this was a a light hearted spoof, however the announcer’s tone and the girls’ conversations soon confirmed that the this was serious affair. This was confirmed recently by an article in a food magazine that was comparing a dozen or so of  tomato based canned beans. The inhabitants of the British Isles consume more than a million cans a day, while New Zealanders open 65,000 tins each day. And now, in the midst of the pandemic, bored stay-at-home bean lovers have discovered the awful combination of Weetabix, whole-grain wheat breakfast cereal biscuits covered with Heinz tomato based baked beans. At this point I will remain half crazy by enjoying hot buttered toast smothered with Boston Baked Beans. 

Just finished watching Face the Nation and Meet the Press and, as usual, had a difficult time listening to the interviewees, mostly politicians, defending their positions, opinions, actions or inactions. Their responses were a barrage of pretentious words and opaque sentences, full of rhetorical excess, with the intent to:

Baffle, bamboozle,, befog, befuddle,, bewilder, buffalo, confound, confuse,  disorient, dodge. flummox, fox, muddle, muddy, mystify, perplex, puzzle, deceive, delude, dupe, fool, gull, hoax, hedge, hoodwink,, misguide, mislead, snow, string along, take in, trick,, cozen, deceive, be dishonest, cheat, falsify, misinform, misreport, misrepresent, misstate, fabricate, fib, prevaricate and lie.  

[Choose one or more and rank from 1 to 5 antacids]

Day ?? Of the Quarantine. Nothing to do. House is clean. Cold rain keeps us inside. Boredom solved by watching one of our favorite operas Rossini’s Barber of Seville on our big screen TV. Especially enjoyed the buffo aria "La calunnia e un venticello" sung by the cynical music teacher, Don Basilio. It starts out slowly and softly but he soon becomes out of control and the song ends up in a tumultuous explosion of voice and lyrics, referred to as “Rossini crescendo.” Also enjoyed the amazing patter songs, always leaving us wondering “how do they do that.” 

It’s time to rummage through the freezer and food cabinets to choose dinner.

The other day I woke up and, as usual and put on my glasses. 

My vision was completely blurred. 

It seems that some time during the night the eyeglass prescription expired.

Fortunately I had a copy of the script in my sock drawer and had it renewed that morning.

Cheerfulness VS Happiness

I have long believed that the concept of  “happiness”  is a false god like Baal – fools gold in realty. Happiness or the good life is the goal of us all, usually in the original Greek sense of  the word,  “eudaemonia,” which stressed the importance of external goods such as health, wealth, and beauty. Rather, it it should represent the highest human good, virtue, personal excellence and ethics. Happiness, is fickle, a state of well being that is subject to events outside of your control.  Cheerfulness, on the other hand it is a way of life that recognizes the good in your life and spurs you on to sharing it.  You can will it, merely by your attitude toward yourself and others.  

Thackeray, summed it up nicely in  his novel, “Vanity Fair.”  

Ah! Vanitas, Vanitatum,  

which of us is happy in this world?   

Which of us has his desire, 

or, having it, is satisfied?  –BHsr ‘10

From an Affable Human to a Kranky Curmudgeon

I'm a very gentle man, 

even tempered and good natured 

who you never hear complain, 

Who has the milk of human kindness 

by the quart in every vein,

A patient man am I, down to my fingertips, 

the sort who never could, ever would,

let an insulting remark escape his lips 

A very ordinary gentle man 

–Lowe, My Fair Lady

But - indifferent and unthinking people have changed my view of life, from a Gentle and Affable Human to a Kranky Curmudgeon  Here is a look at some petty annoyances, or how I turned from an unwilling victim to a grouchy old coot.

Let’s start with the tiresome and lazy expression that is the verbal wheelchair of the retail and service industry:   …“Have a nice day.”   

Which prompts me to recoil and say:  “What do you mean by telling me to having a nice day. If I want to enjoy my day, I will decide to do so – on my own. Your apathetic request is neither welcome nor thoughtful.”    “Wouldn’t this sound a little more pleasant:”

May the garden fairies, 

sprinkle dew kissed pose petals, 

on the path of your life!

Or as my southern aunts would say so delightfully: 

“Land sakes a mercy, y’all come back soon - heah,  an bring the childr’n.”

Fresh Tomato Pasta

This is another of our favorite dishes, a delightful change of pace for pasta lovers. It is meant to be a  “fresh from the garden”  taste experience, that does not need the typical overload of garlic, spices and onions associated with the usual spaghetti sauce.  Serves 2

6-8 large tomatoes

1 bunch fresh basil 

4 ounces vodka

4 tablespoons butter (more or less to taste)

½ cup Asiago or Parmesan cheese, grated

Salt and fresh ground pepper

½ pound angel hair spaghetti

Optional: substitute cream for 2 tablespoons of butter

Peel, core and chop the tomatoes.  Roll cut the basil into slivers. Cook the tomatoes in a sauté pan just enough to break down the chunks (10 to 12 Minutes).    Meanwhile, cook the spaghetti.  

Add 2 ounces of vodka to the sauce (reserve 2 ounces for the chef) and cook another 2 minutes.  Turn off heat and swirl butter into the sauce, then add the basil, cheese, salt and pepper. Drain the pasta, place in individual bowls, and pour sauce over the pasta. 

Serve with a mixed green salad and bruschetta or crostini. A fruity red wine, like a beaujolais, pinot noir or a good sirah, goes well with this dish. 


"Many People Have Eaten My Meals and 
Have Gone on to Live Normal Lives"